"There was a purpose..."

Adoption is such a complicated concept to explain to someone, when they haven't been a part of "that world". People are "happy" when they hear that a couple has adopted a child... but get uncomfortable when it comes to discussions about someone as a birthmother. They can celebrate the miracle of the new family that is formed, and even praise God for His hand in the miracle of the details working out... but they have a hard time celebrating with the birthmom at what God is working on in her life. Many times this is because they don't "know" any birthmothers. They simply see the "bad" examples on tv talkshows. Or read about stalkings and adoptions gone bad in magazines and newspapers.

I think the answer is people getting to hear birthmothers' stories, when adoption is done "right". I'm thrilled at the idea of someone collecting those stories. To document the sadness and pain, the start of joy returning, and the contented heart peace as the birthmom sees the perfect plan God has created for her own life... the life of the child she released for adoption... and the new family that is formed thru adoption.

Here is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to the daughter I placed almost 21 years ago...

"There was a purpose, in you being conceived during that specific time in my life. And the specific time in your birthfather's life. And a purpose and plan in your parents not being able to conceive. God took each of those loose ends, and tied them into an incredible bow. A magnificent creation. A glorious gift. There was pain and discomfort as each of our lives was picked up and moved to just where God needed each of us to be, to perfectly bridge the gap to pass you from one set of hands to another. But you were not being dropped. Or abandoned. Or left to find your own way. You were placed.

Placed.

For His divine purpose. In each of our lives."